Last year I visited a fortune teller. Not really a fortune teller, some kind of psychic, based in Melbourne. She advised me to quit coffee. Hmm. I’m not quite sure how she knew I was a coffee fanatic. Maybe it was because I smelt like coffee beans or maybe I just looked plain dehydrated and cranky after my 3rd cup or so that day.
Anyway, I’ve been trying to quit coffee. Let me tell you, after day 2 or 3 of being caffeine free, a cup of coffee starts to smell real fuckin good. People who have tried to quit coffee (I’m talking about serious addicts here, with years of daily coffee drinking under their belt) will tell you about the gargantuous headaches and bodyaches which reduces their physical and mental agility to just about zero on about day 3 of no-coffee.
I have a thoery that these headaches and bodyaches are actually the result of years/months of accumulated toxins, sleep deprivation (or at least deep sleep deprivation) and the body’s way of trying to get the body to adjust itself to normality.
See, Caffeine (notice I still like it enough to spell it with a capital C) is a pretty effective painkiller. If you have been crouching at your desk the whole week doing computer stuff, naturally, if you don’t sit on a herman miller aero chair (which I heartily recommend), you’ll get a ass splitting mind fucking balls ripping neck or back ache. A standard ‘un-painkiller-ed’ bloke would just massage away the aches and pains at the end of the day, giving his/her body the tender lovin care it oh so needs. Now, what happens in the case of the 5-10 cup of joe a day bloke, who does’nt even feel these aches and pains as a result of caffeine blocking the pain? He just simply goes to sleep or does whatever other activity, simply unaware that his body is actually being strained. So when the viel of caffeine’s anti-pain effects are lifted and the reality of the body’s state is revealed, the 5-10 cuppa a day for everyday for 10 years guy gets the physiological equivalent of planet Nibiru colliding with Earth.
Obviously, the simplest solution is to reach for another cup of Joe, after all, it’s so damn convenient. If I were a dog I’d be pissed at why everywhere I go in the city I smell freakin coffee. But really, logically, the best thing to do should be to abstain from caffeine until the body reaches a wholesome state again, then again can coffee be used. Coffee should be an enhancer of an already awesome state, not an extender to a state (mental) that is fading due to lethargy.
When I first started my Coffee detox, it took me about 1-2 weeks of abstaining totally from caffeine, constant muscle aches which did not go away and week-long brain dead states just staring at the tv and not thinking or doing much at all, simply to reach ‘baseline’. Baseline here is defined as a state where I can feel decently okay and get normal daily chores done without the need to ingest Caffeine.
But I guess a detox once in a while is a good thing. Skin looks clearer and more ‘plump’, probably due to the re-hydration effect and energy is more stable throughout the day. Also, sleep comes easier and the best thing is the deep sleep, which is more regenerative than fickle sleep. I don’t know about you but the number one thing that makes me cranky, anti-social and feel like shit is a night of bad sleep. I remember my pre-caffeine days (very young age) where I used to wake up feeling charged and alive. In my relatively few caffeine-free days in my adult life, I have glimpsed this pleasant feeling of waking up recharged and relaxed. This usually occurs on day 3 in the no-caffeine zone.
I think the anti-anxiety effects of being Caffeine free is also one of the major pull factors of me considering quitting the brew. Sometimes, at work or in social situations I am a jittery, anxious and stressed out mess of a person. I guess chronic lack of sleep and days of multiple Caffeine infusions does that to you. I believe Caffeine stays in your system and is felt to a period of 3 days or so on average. At least on my system. Of course, the beneficial effects only last a couple of hours, but in terms of Caffeine being ‘felt’, I can feel it even the next day. I guess you have to experience being totally Caffeine free to know the difference.
I’ll leave you guys with one more theory on Caffeine muscle aches and why they happen and why getting a massage while having a caffeine withdrawal body ache is almost the best thing ever (the best thing ever is drinking a 100 plus at the end of a 5km run).
Caffeine muscle aches: This is toxin related. The lymphatic system in the body is the system in the body which channels white blood cells (essential for the immune system) to various parts of the body. However, unlike the artery, vein and capillary network which transports blood, the lymphatic system is stimulated only by physical movement and massage. Infact, deep tissue massage is a great way to get the lymphatic system moving. These aches and pains are the result of accumulated strains on the physical system in humans. Tend to these aches by giving yourself a good massage (get a foam roller, it’s awesome, I’ll elaborate this in another post) and it is almost certain that your body will be in better sync.
This post was written on day 2 of being in a no-caffeine zone.